Where’d You Park Your Broom, Dear? (Part 1 of 2 from Grace Filled Marriage—The Missing Piece. The Place to Start. By Dr. Tim Kimmel with Darcy Kimmel)

Ahhh,  blissful matrimony.

Some could argue those two preceding words, “blissful matrimony” are an oxymoron.  Anybody???

Silver Wedding Bells

Now that hubster and I have celebrated our 30th anniversary, we’ve come to acquire certain phrases for certain scenarios.  They make for quite an artillery.

Exhibit A:

Should I accidentally snap at John rather than ooze words of love and comfort, John will many times say, “Where’d you park your broom, dear?”  Insinuating my resemblance of a big, bad, scary witch.

Halloween Pumpkin Witch Dog

(Apropos’ given it’s Halloween week.  Forget the ghouls, just hand over the candy, preferably of the chocolate persuasion.)

Exhibit B:

Should John accidentally snap at me rather than ooze words of love and comfort, I will many times say, “Stop!  Just a minute while I pick my head up off the floor, SINCE YOU BIT IT OFF!”  Insinuating he may have just bitten my head off with some kind of  terrifying tone of voice.

I know, it’s hard to believe publishers aren’t bustin’ our door down to grab some more wisdom on our blissful matrimony.  Thanks be to God, literally, we’ve learned how to handle conflict.  Nine times out of ten, grace is the answer.

Since people are already Christmas shopping (Kinda weird seeing Christmas décor along with Halloween candy), I’d like to suggest you add this book to your shopping list: 

Grace Filled Marriage: The Missing Piece, the Place to Start by Dr. Tim Kimmel with Darcy Kimmel.  As a friend said, “This book is for all married couples: newlyweds and nearly deads!”  Dear friends, we all fall in there somewhere!

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Dr. Tim Kimmel tells us his book explores “the daily reality of living out a commitment to treating our spouse the way God treats us—with grace.”  Tim and his wife Darcy share their stories along the way, no holes barred.  Some are hysterical funny while others are sadly poignant, lessons of which benefit us readers.

He begins to open our eyes with several other married couple’s situations.  He shows us that “Marriages without grace have a way of feeling tired and old much faster than we would ever have thought going in.” 

Tim gives us several definitions of grace:

Grace is….

“The equilibrium we apply to all the conditions and challenges that allow our marital love to improve with age.

justice scales

The  plus sign to counter all of the negatives inherent in a partnership.

The vintage agent to a covenant love that otherwise becomes flat.

The dealmaker in a ‘till death do us part’ commitment.

Grace is about Jesus:  He’s the God of grace,

The wellspring of grace,

The beginning,

The delivery system,

The follow-thru’ program of grace.”

Grace Road Sign

One experience opened Tim’s eyes after he learned to braid his daughter’s hair.  (This story is one not to miss.)  He realized that once you’ve braided hair, the braid appears to only have two strands.  But if you were doing the braiding, you know you used three.

Braid Hairstyle. Brown Long Hair close up. Healthy Hair border i

He adds, “A grace-filled marriage is more about weaving together three people than it is joining together a man and a woman.”  In Mark 10:8, Ephesians 5:31, Genesis 2:24 and Matthew 19:5, the Bible tells us that two shall become one.  Tim explains, “but God also wants those two to be one with him.  In grace-filled marriages, three lives weave together to look like two, presenting themselves as one complete and beautiful braid.”

Of_Three_Strands

My guess is you’ve been to a wedding or two where the minister reads the above verse, Ecclesiastes 4:12.  It tells us the husband, wife, and God work in tandem together, strengthening their marriage as they go.

Grace “needs to be the active ingredient of our marriage covenant.”  Tim continues by addressing the plethora of problems we married couples create.  He talks about certain lenses in which we view our marriage.

Magnifying Glass

For example, with the “Love If Lens”, we make things in our marriage conditional.  (“I’ll love you if….”)  With the “Me Lens”, it’s the ole’ my-way-or-the-highway scenario.  The worst, Tim writes, is viewing your marriage with the “Pious Lens”…holier-than-thou comes to mind.  He calls this when you think you have a “biblical black belt in superiority.” Oh dear, I’ve soooo been there….

View your marriage with the Grace Lens, and things will quickly clear up.  Tim says, “This fresh, freeing, grace-filled perspective brings new energy, respect, contentment and passion to a relationship.”  This makes me think of having the wind at your back, zipping your sailboat along as you exhale and drink in His peace.

Beach With Sailboat In Ocean

Bottom line?

This is all well and good information, if you fully grasp grace.  Tim adds, “We must grasp the part of how the grace that saved us can also redefine us and transform how we treat others, especially in our marriage.  We must accept Christ’s work as it truly is.”

“CHOOSE to embrace this grace as the defining factor of your relationship with your spouse.”

Sidebar:  If you are having trouble grasping grace, the best book out right now on grace is by my buddy Liz Curtis Higgs, Embrace Grace. Even tho’ she’s written thirty-plus books, this is still my all-time favorite.

Liz Curtis Higgs Embrace Grace

Here’s a sampling of the outstanding, life-giving, grace-filled list of Scriptures Tim gives us in his chapter on “A Grace-Filled Perspective” :

Jesus is “empathetic and understanding when all we can muster is fear and doubt. (Romans 8:15; 2 Timothy 1:7; Hebrews 4:15-16)

Jesus sees us for what we can be instead of judging us for what we are. (Luke 15:21-22; John 8:10-11)

Jesus imputes value in us long after we feel we don’t have any left. (Romans 5:8)

Jesus unleashes his mercy and hope in order to rescue us when we’re at our worst. (Ephesians 2:4-7; Philippians 2:5-8)

Jesus rescues us from that sin and shame, even at the expense of his own life.” (Romans 8:31-33)

Silhouette of man praying to a cross with heavenly cloudscape su

Killer question for us all (until we hit part 2 next week!!!) :

“Why are we so quick to deny grace to our spouse for things Jesus couldn’t wait to extend grace to us for?”

Let’s pray about that this week.

‘Til next time!

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3 Comments

Filed under Book Reviews, Life Lessons

3 responses to “Where’d You Park Your Broom, Dear? (Part 1 of 2 from Grace Filled Marriage—The Missing Piece. The Place to Start. By Dr. Tim Kimmel with Darcy Kimmel)

  1. Pingback: Navy is the New Black…(Part 2 of 2 from Grace-Filled Marriage—The Missing Piece. The Place to Start. by Dr. Tim and Darcy Kimmel) | Worship with Words

  2. Nancy Aguiar

    Oh Elizabeth, your words have watered my soul tonight! I shall extend more grace tomorrow! I have heard you speak of this book so favorably…I will get it soon, read it slowly, and savor its great truths! The gift of grace is so counterculture; pursuing it all the more!! Love you, my friend!

  3. Elizabeth Jeffries

    Hi from Singapore!

    (Bali was breathtaking. Now to enjoy this amazing city/State with speaker friends. )

    ….where we have spent 16 days almost 24-7 with each other! Oh I needed this post. I think I flew on my broom a time or 2. 😦 Stephen is the one that more easily extends grace. Will get this book. The verse from Ecc is one we put on our joined business announcement in 1996. Only the grace of God some days…. 🙂

    Happy anniversary! Excited to celebrate 50 with you all.

    Love and blessings… Elizabeth

    Elizabeth Jeffries RN, CSP – Certified Speaking Professional CPAE Speaker Hall of Fame Certified Professional Talent Analyst Certified Professional EQ Analyst Keynote Speaker, Executive Coach, Author Louisville,KY USA w 502-339-1600 c 502-314-1178 http://www.tweedjeffries.com

    Sent from my iPad

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