Once a Parent, Always a Parent…
When, may I ask, are we not parents any longer? If your children hit the big 4-0, is it then? Surely… when their children hit twenty-one? Is there a cut off? Someone please do tell…
Bad news: While we’re on this earth, we are always parents to our children.
Good news: While we’re on this earth, we are always parents to our children.
It’s a matter of perspective. Lord please help us, to grasp the know-how of how much is enough/overkill/apply-duct-tape-when-necessary. Easier said than done!
As I type, our newly married baby is clear across the country in Hawaii with his new bride on their honeymoon. (I can hear the violins playing.) Naturally I’m dying to pick up the phone and say, “Hey! How’s the honeymoon goin’?”
Our oldest son, John Jr., strongly suggested today, “Now Mom, remember he’s on his honeymoon…let’s not have his phone blowin’ up.” I replied, “I know, I know.” Sigh…
Coming down from a wedding high is no small feat. Emotions are now marginally back in check. I knew I was bad off when I burst into tears on Friday before the wedding. I drove in the driveway from LT’s Bridesmaids’ Luncheon and saw Gordy’s car. (He’s our middle son who lives in Lexington.)
Mind you I’d not even seen Gordy yet, only his car, which made me dissolve. ‘Twas a carryover from Thursday’s meltdown. (For explanation, please click on…..When You Must Take to Your Bed…)
Meltdowns require perspective. (“Get a grip!” comes to mind…)
Meltdowns require rest. (However I’d not necessarily recommend “taking to your bed” in the dramatic way this MOG did.)
**Most importantly**: Meltdowns are a great opportunity for recharging relationships. We must always be attentive for these opportunities. Years ago when 9/11 happened, our boys were very unsettled. We took off, just the five of us and went camping and fishing. (Those of you who know me may be stunned by this….but you do what you have to do to hold the fam together.)
My John is much more intuitive than I am and he quickly took charge of the situation. We were on the road to Shelbyville to a friend’s farm within what seemed like minutes. His motto is always, “Seek to understand.” Five-for-five of us recharged and were ready to face the world again once home. (Sidebar: The s’mores helped immensely.)
Psalm 118:24 says, “This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.”
Pray for a fresh day,
a fresh attitude,
a new beginning.
I’ve got to share with you the most amazing story of a recharged relationship from a major meltdown witnessed by thousands... If you’re a UK fan (CATS! CATS! CATS!), you probably know about the Harrison twins, Aaron and Andrew. This past Spring found them both crumbling under enormous pressure.
Pastor Robert Cunningham from Tates Creek Presbyterian Church in Lexington, KY (www.tcpca.org ) wrote the most astonishing article on how the twins were “tweaked”. Tweaking translates into recharging a relationship, and in this case, it came from their Father.
Their Father’s tweaking brought forth some colossal kind of transformation resulting in three-count-em-three game-winning shots by Aaron Harrison. What it all boiled down to was some sound, quality Father/Son time.
Every child, of any age, needs pure, unconditional reassurance. Here we return to our original question with the answer of: Once a parent, always a parent. Seems Aaron and Andrew’s Father’s vow of unconditional love was just what the basketball doctor ordered.
Andrew was quoted after his Father’s visit, “It helped me take a deep breath and relax.” Robert Cunningham astutely added, “There’s a world of difference between performing to be accepted and performing knowing you are accepted. Once they (the twins) realized they were loved apart from their excellence, they were then set free to become excellent.”
Goodness, that’s worth repeating: “Once the twins realized they were loved apart from their excellence, they were then set free to become excellent.”
Because Robert Cunningham is such a good preacher and teacher, he rarely misses the chance to draw parallels to our faith. He reminded us that if we thought we had to measure up to God’s expectations, earning His acceptance, we’d “quickly become burdened, stressed, fearful, joyless…”
He continues, “But if we embrace what the Bible has to say to us—that we’re loved and accepted not based upon our performance but based upon our Savior—then we’ll be set free to obey…Even our worst failures will become fresh reminders of God’s boundless grace and infinite commitment…”
Robert challenges us to remember:
“You don’t have to perform;
Christ has performed.
You’re allowed to fail;
Christ died for our failures.”
Charles Spurgeon suggested years ago: “The most important daily habit we can possess is to remind ourselves of the gospel.”
Amen and amen.
‘Til next time!
(This post is dedicated to Pastor Robert Cunningham. Bless his sweet soul, he’ll be marrying Gordy and Lauren September 27th. He’s been mentoring them and handling their premarital counseling these past few months. If you’d like to read his excellent article, Your Christianity Needs a Tweak, here’s the link: http://tcpa.org/2014/04/08/your-christianity-needs-a-tweak/twin/