Anyone Need a CURE for the DISEASE TO PLEASE?
Friends! How many people pleasers can you spot right off the bat? Might YOU be one?
Spoiler alert: People pleasers are difficult to spot.
Full confession: I’m afflicted with the disease to please...yep, People Pleaser Extraordinaire...Big sigh...(Hang with me, help is on the way…)
Recently, I suffered horrible, gut-wrenching, terribly disappointing consequences from my actions to where I hope and pray with ALL that’s in me, I will not make the same mistake again. Just call me Alexander...
From being a big chicken by not speaking my mind, it wound up costing us our family vacation we’d planned for almost a year. Trying to get all twelve us to do anything, much less escape for four nights, takes an Act of Congress and I blew it. Plain and simple.
And did I mention this was for my 60th birthday? Cue the violins...
I should’ve (Shoulda-Coulda-Woulda Syndrome) asked to postpone a luncheon that was too close to our family’s vacation, but I didn’t. And, as one friend pointed out quite frankly, “Well, you still went!”
Yes, I did.
Ouch.
I wasn’t alone, however, as I learned three of the five of us going to the luncheon also had misgivings about going. So why-oh-why didn’t we speak up?
You’ve probably guessed by now, the corona virus was the culprit of this dilemma. One of our friends who came to this luncheon unknowingly had it. We learned later that night her husband had just tested positive, so she got tested the next day and she, too, was positive.
Therefore the other four of us were all exposed, which meant we’d all need to quarantine for fourteen days. That time frame ate up a good bit of when we were supposed to be on vacation with our family. It just wasn’t worth potentially exposing our 6 big and 4 little angels, so...sadly, we cancelled.
Now what? Well, we’ll make the most of our time staying distracted until we can all be together again. It’s not lost on me that a book I recently ordered (You knew somehow I’d wind up talking about a book!) happens to be calming my woes. I believe it will do the same for you when you start tanking into a toxic thought process...
The book? Get Out of Your Head: Stopping the Spiral of Toxic Thoughts by Jennie Allen
Jennie is like a personal trainer for each of us readers. Early into the book, she shares a frightening experience she had involving spiritual warfare. (Her experience still makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. See Chapter Two: “What We Believe.”)
Jennie equips us with good, clear cut advice, “practical biblical tools,” as Christine Caine pegged them. I believe you’ll be thrilled to discover this resource. Jennie’s honesty is relatable and extremely helpful.
The book’s divided into three parts:
Part One: All the Thoughts
Part Two: Taking Down the Enemies of Our Minds
Part Three: Thinking as Jesus Thinks
Part Two is where we’re given weapons to fight with. I picture us readers donning boxing gloves, preparing to fight.
We learn about thought spirals, how they usually spiral downward as if we’re heading down a big drain. Be forewarned, the landing isn’t soft—in fact, it’s quite ugly and can be painful. Oh, but what’s super neat about each chapter is Jennie also shows us how to spiral upward—up and out of toxic thoughts. (She places the spirals side-by-side so you can SEE the difference. These are huge eye-openers.)
Jennie says, “Every toxic thought, spiraling emotional cycle, and trap of the enemy we fall for somehow deep down involves a wrong belief about God.”
One of Satan’s favorite tools, we learn, is confusion. How often do you reach the end of a day and look back, telling yourself you feel like you were spinning in the middle of the floor, accomplishing nothing? I call those days “SCRAMBLED.”
We need to learn to recognize these trappings and “day-by-day, moment-by-moment make choices to move from chaos and confusion toward the peace of Christ in various areas of our thought lives.”
Jennie identifies seven enemies warring for our minds. In chapters 8 - 14, she shows us how to conquer these enemies.
I’m telling you, friend…
THIS BOOK IS:
POWERFUL.
LIFE-CHANGING...
And…IT SPELLS OUT VICTORY AND FREEDOM FOR EACH AND EVERY ONE OF US.
A chief verse to help us with Satan warring for our minds is one we that’s sprinkled throughout the book. It’s Romans 12:2,
Allow me to share with you just one of the seven weapons Jennie gives us so you can start loading up your arsenal...Chapter Eight is entitled, “Holding Space for Silence: I Choose to Be Still with God.”
We get to meditate on Psalm 46:10 that says, “Be still and know that I am God.”
We also get to learn a lot about our brain and how it functions. Making daily choices to spend time with God alone, “according to the emerging field of neurotheology, quiet meditation quite literally changes our brains.”
Numerous benefits of being still with God are included, also in Chapter Eight—my favorite of which is:
“Your brain stays younger longer. ‘A study from UCLA found that long-term meditators had better-preserved brains than non-meditators as they aged.’”
Can I get an “Amen????!!!”
After we’ve been fitted with the necessary weapons to keep away our enemies (in the following chapters 9-14), Jennie reminds us to keep on choosing...
“To choose to talk to God instead of doubt him.
To choose to be grateful for all HE has done.
To choose to obey Him, no matter how we feel.”
She adds,
“This is my upward spiral.
I am at peace.
And I so desperately want this for you.
I want you to live free and give Jesus away to others...
May we steward our freedom well.”
What I believe this book can do for us is twofold:
1 -When we choose to use these seven weapons Jennie gives us, our focus is on Jesus, not ourselves. Plus a potentially downward spiral, flips upward toward Him. “He is the lifter of my head.” Psalm 3:3
2 -In this way, as John Piper often says, “God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him.”
May it be so, Lord.
So, what are you waiting for? Run, don’t walk to your nearest bookstore and grab Get Out of Your Head: Stopping the Spiral of Toxic Thoughts.
Checkout Jennie’s website and her other books.
(Here’s the link where I reviewed another one of her books, Restless: Because You Were Made for More—yet another must-read!)
May we meditate on Galatians 1:10, a LOT, which WILL make us think the next time we wonder if we’re doing the right thing:
‘Til next time!
Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the page above are “affiliate links.”