When You Hear the Big “C” Word...
Friends! Why is it we can remember exactly where we were when we received good or bad news? I can’t remember milk from the grocery store these days, but I can remember where I was when something good or bad happened.
Recently, John and I got some bad news. It wasn’t just bad news, it was potentially deadly news.
Our dermatologist phoned John on a Friday morning and revealed the biopsy taken from his arm was the worst kind of skin cancer you can have: melanoma. He was upstairs when he got the call, so he came downstairs and stood in the doorway of the porch where I was reading, tears in his eyes, and said, “I have melanoma.”
Immediate fear gripped me and I could tell it had already gripped John. Why? Because our only frame of reference for melanoma was from our beloved brother-in-love, John Rulketter, God rest his soul, who died from it.
After sharing our news with friends and asking for prayer, we discovered we have over fourteen friends who have had melanoma and are very much alive. Big difference!
After a few seconds of thinking, “Oh my word, now what do we do?”, I made a declaration:
““Well, if we truly believe what we say we believe, then we are GOING TO TRUST GOD TO GET US THROUGH THIS...””
We immediately alerted our children, asking for prayer, and then I phoned my dear friend, Liz Curtis Higgs, as she’s been on quite a cancer journey of her own. She and Bill quickly prayed for John and me—us still shaking, but gaining some relief from the shock.
What miraculously evolved was a band of prayer warriors all across the country—many cancer survivors themselves: our Bible study buddies, John’s golf buddies, friends from various scenarios, neighbors, you-name-it as I unabashedly campaigned for my better half of now thirty-six years. This Mamma Bear came out of hibernation.
Within a short period of time on that Friday, John received a call from the Brown Cancer Center. A gal from Dr. Kelly McMasters’ office asked if he could come in the following Tuesday. We found out Dr. McMasters is not only well-known for his efforts with immunotherapy for melanoma here in the States, he’s actually world-renown for his extensive research in melanoma.
He’s literally made his misery his ministry after having lost his own son to leukemia before immunotherapy was readily available. He now has been extremely successful with multiple patients with all stages of melanoma. Our own brother-in-love could’ve possibly been saved had immunotherapy been available during his eight-year battle with melanoma.
Not too far into Liz Higgs’ journey into cancer, she surprised thousands of us with an article she wrote entitled, “6 Reasons Why I’m Thankful for Cancer.” Huh? I went back into my archives to retrieve it. (Here’s the link if you’d like to read the article in its entirety: https://proverbs31.org/read/resource-library/hope-in-uncertainty)
Before Liz gives us her six reasons, she points us to a lovely Scripture, 1 Thessalonians 5:18 which says,
Folks asked Liz if she was really grateful for the cancer and she replied in the affirmative. She added, “The truth is my gratitude has nothing to do with chemicals (as in her chemo’, etc.) and everything to do with Christ. After three dozen years of knowing Him as my Lord and Savior, I now know Him as my Comforter, Healer, and Friend. I have never been more aware of His presence or more in awe of His power. And I’ve never felt more compelled to speak His name or sing His praises!” What fabulous reminders to hold near and dear to our hearts.
During our waiting (I declare the Lord teaches me patience on a daily basis), John had to go to the doctor, to an ultrasound, and to his eventual surgery all alone. I wasn’t allowed to accompany him because of the covid-19 pandemic, still sadly ongoing...
Therefore, the morning of his surgery, I had to drop him off off at the hospital. And I was none too happy about it, either. (Mamma Bear might have had steam coming out of her ears!) That might have been the worst experience of the whole deal for both of us. But, I knew we were one of many, many sad couples with covid patients, surgery patients, etc. forced to do the exact same thing: go it alone.
Many years ago right before another crisis with my parents, several friends gifted me with a beautiful silver bracelet. Engraved on it are the words of Matthew 28:20, “And lo, I am with you always...”. I all but sleep in this bracelet. I love it because our own Lord reminds us we are never alone.
The day I was home alone during John’s surgery, I read a lot and later listened to worship music while cleaning the house. Those of you who know me are shocked by this (never, I repeat NEVER, wear white gloves in this house as they may return a different shade of gray)...but amazingly, time flew.
The timing of a discovery of Dr. Donald S. Whitney’s book, Praying the Bible, isn’t lost on me either. I wrote about this book and a neat app you can put on your phone for free, “Five Psalms.”
I began reading the psalms, sometimes one a day and sometimes all five that are suggested in the reading plan, plus a proverb. What I learned between that time in April, and the phone call we received from our dermatologist mid-May, carried me thru’ those rough days. John will tell you the same.
Over and over the two words/phrases that popped up in my reading of the psalms were “TRUST” and the frequent mentioning of God’s “STEADFAST LOVE.” His Word brought me comfort and the peace that passes understanding, even when I was alone. That, coupled with the prayers of our many prayer warriors, truly carried us through.
One more tool I mustn’t forget helped me (and still does help me) combat fear. It was and is to mentally put on the full armor of God:
So, now what??? The lymph node Dr. McMasters removed under John’s arm came back normal, and John’s incision on his forearm is healing (it was ghastly!), We were dismissed by Dr. McMasters after he declared John had had Stage One Melanoma. Praise the Lord!
Last week, I had a checkup with our dermatologist and I thanked her for referring us to Dr. McMasters, and for the rapid response with which they handled us. (Obviously you don’t mess around with melanoma.) She was gracious, but she ended with, “You’re welcome, but stay on him, as...it can come back.” Gulp.
Once again that knife of fear sliced my heart. But I stopped it before it could get its grip on me. “No sir, Satan, I am NOT going down that road.”
We will take one day at a time, be diligent, USE SUNSCREEN and keep on praying. We know tomorrow’s not promised. We will savor every day. Lord, may it be so…
May we all count our blessings and press on in this crazy world in which we’re living. To those of you who lifted up my John in prayer, we’re forever grateful and know who to call on when our next prayer request arises. May we not forget how often the word “remember” is in the Bible. That’s for a reason! We will remember your gracious time spent on praying for us.
Finally, I can’t write a post without talking about a book, so allow me to share a few recommendations for when challenging circumstances arise:
“WHEN THE BOTTOM DROPS OUT: FINDING GRACE IN THE DEPTHS OF DISAPPOINTMENT” BY Robert Bugh (To read a few snippets from it, click here.)
“31 Days of Praise: Enjoying God Anew” by Ruth and Warren Myers
‘Til next time!
P.S. The below worship song is one of many we clung to during our cancer journey. This is the longer version. I chose this one for you readers because one of the crew from Bethel shares why and how he wrote this song—during a crisis of one of their team’s child going thru’ a battle for his life. He said, “When the Giant of Unbelief showed up we decided it was NOT going to win. Our prayer warriors provided a ‘symphony of prayer’”. Check out the powerful lyrics and “Raise a Hallelujah!”🎶🎵🎶🎵🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼❤️
Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the page above are “affiliate links.”