How Can We Have HOPE When There Are So Many Suicides? (Plus INTERVIEW with Author, Dr. Matthew Sleeth)
Friends! Yes, well, today we have a super tough, hard-to-talk-about topic: suicide. It is one, quite frankly, I try to avoid... However, we cannot miss the fact that suicide is rampant in our world, it’s on the front pages of our newspapers, and it’s in the top stories of the national news, nightly.
It’s estimated that ten million Americans will think about killing themselves this year. Every six minutes we lose someone to suicide. One out of every eight people are taking anti-depressants, and the staggering stats go on and on...
Recently, a friend of our family’s, only sixty-five years of age, brilliant restaurateur with entrepreneurial skills few could touch, took his life. Thousands are still stunned, terribly sad, and we’re left scratching our heads.
Our current course of action is to keep this man’s family, who’s deeply loved by countless individuals, in our prayers and vow to be prepared should another person who’s suicidal cross our path.
HOW can we be prepared, you ask? Hang with me and we’ll get some answers...
Many of you’ve been touched in one way or another by suicide. Most of us don’t know how to handle people who are suicidal much less how to deal with those in the wake of grief from a loved one committing suicide.
I’m hugely relieved to tell you help is on the way, thanks to a new book on suicide, which releases May 4th, PLUS I’m including an interview with the author to better equip us. (It’ll be at the end of this post.)
The book? Hope Always: How to Be a Force for Life in a Culture of Suicide by Matthew Sleeth, MD.
Many of you know I only write about books I rave about. This book, to be totally honest, was a tough read for me— I even had to take a break for a while. I’m calling it an Eat-Your-Vegetables book. (You’ll be amused to learn the author gives you permission, early on, to skip a few chapters if it’s tough goin’ for you. I did not skip any, but as I said, I did take a few days to return to it at one point.)
However, the more I read, I realized I desperately needed to finish the book, learning so much in each chapter. It’s one I’ll refer to often and one I’ll be giving to everyone I can think of. I believe everyone should read this book and have it as a nearby resource especially considering the culture in which we live. I’ll show you why in just a minute...
Matthew says his book is “a guide for people who currently deal with, have dealt with, or will deal with suicide or suicide ideation...It’s both an argument for life and a plan for preventing suicide, focusing on why people did NOT commit suicide rather than why they did.” He adds, “Prevention is the only acceptable treatment.”
Matthew’s background as an ER doctor makes for very interesting stories he relays. Because he’s a relatively new believer (he was an atheist for forty-seven years!), his faith rings fresh and makes the book that much more compelling, causing the reader to grasp what surely will be new material to many. Matthew promises to speak the “unvarnished truth.”
He shares numerous, pertinent Scripture to validate his points, early on saying, “Faith plays a protective role when it comes to suicide.” Matthew gives us a biblical worldview of suicide.
Questions we all have are laid out on the table, dissected, and best of all answered. Here are a few examples:
We readers are taught all about a mnemonic for recognizing depression. It’s called SIG E CAPS. The letters stand for: Sleep, Interest, Guilt, Energy, Concentration, Appetite, Psychomotor, and Suicidal ideation. These are all addressed in detail in Part 3 on how we can help, along with other helpful information, such as the Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-278-TALK (8255).
Two kinds of depression are also included in Chapter 8 along with many famous authors you’ll recognize who battled depression and WON. These are folks we can truly learn from.
Matthew closes Chapter 8 with this: “It’s the obligation of every Christian to be prepared to help someone who’s suicidal.”
Another eye-opening chapter is Chapter 5, Suicide and Satan. (Maybe don’t read this chapter late at night...just a suggestion.) We’re reminded from Scripture Satan is the Father of lies, the Father of all evil. Even his name means “accuser.” He is out to get us, plain and simple.
Matthew emphasizes, “Our knowing the difference between Satan’s lie and God’s truth is the definition of wisdom.” Matthew further expounds on Satan’s ploys. He said, “God gives life and Satan takes it away.” He adds, “Satan’s calling card is a voice to commit suicide.”
Matthew gives us several instances in Scripture where Satan “is always for death. He’s not in Scripture a lot, but when he is, he’s trying to get someone to kill themselves or someone else.”
Chapter 6, God and Suicide: Jesus is always for Life, shows us characters in the Bible who wanted to end their lives. What’s beautiful is how Matthew reminds us, pointing to specific verses, how Jesus pursues and rescues these characters. Matthew says, “This is a PATTERN that’s repeated all throughout the Bible.”
We not only see Biblical characters’ transformations, we get to see a real-life miracle that happened in Honduras. Don’t miss this!
I also recommend two of Matthew’s previous books, both of which he mentions at pertinent places in his book on suicide. One is 24/6: A Prescription for a Happier, Healthier Life
Sabbath keeping is of paramount importance and it falls under the “I” for Integrity in the SIG E CAPS regarding “taking a break when needed.”
Matthew reminds us God invites us to open the gift of Sabbath fifty-two times per year. He says, “Sabbath keeping is the cornerstone of a healthy ministry.”
In talking about Creation care, we learn of the importance of trees. Checkout one of my favorite quotes in the book:
“One way I connect with young people is to talk about God’s love for trees. Trees are mentioned more in Scripture than any other living thing, other than God and people. There is a tree on the first page of the Bible; the first psalm tells us to be like a tree; the first page of the New Testament has a tree within Jesus’ family tree; and the last page of the Bible has a tree that bears fruit in every season, with leaves that will heal the nations. Reaching that tree is to be the goal of every Christian...”
The last two chapters offer help to pastors regarding suicide and to the church. The information and advice in these chapters is invaluable. Don’t miss it!
Finally, the piece de resistance is at the very end of the book in the Hope Always Tool Kit section. Maybe read this first to share with others! In it you’ll find:
12 Ways You Can Help Save a Life
Lists of Scripture passages and quotes
Playlists of uplifting hymns and songs
Movies that can refill the well
Fiction and non-fiction book recommendations
A sample church policy on suicide
Additional resources
Now YOU’RE INVITED to sit back for just a few more minutes, as we hear from the author himself, my dear friend and mentor, Dr. Matthew Sleeth:
www.BlessedEarth.org
Q #1 -What compelled you to write a book on suicide?
Short answer: God!
For at least a year, God was nudging me to write about suicide but I kept avoiding it. It’s a tough subject, and I had seen more than my fair share of death in the ER. But what got me going was looking on line to see what was being written about suicide and faith and realizing that it was completely misrepresenting Scripture.
So, I told God, “Okay, I’ll read thru’ the Bible to see what you have to say about suicide, but you are going to have to show me the way.” As I read the story of Adam and Eve, I realized it was the first suicidal act in the Bible, and yet not one biblical authority I read had pointed this out.
That’s when I realized no matter how difficult the subject, as a physician and a pastor I had a responsibility to share what I had learned with others.
Q #2 - Who do you believe your readers are?
They are people who take seriously the call to love one another and be our brother’s (and sister’s) keeper. Specifically regarding suicide, God’s call to action is spelled out in Proverbs 24:11-12,
Rescue those who are being taken away to death;
Hold back those who are stumbling to the slaughter.
If you say, “Behold, we did not know this,”
does not he who weighs the heart perceive it?
Does not he who keeps watch over your soul know it,
And will he not repay man according to his work? (ESV)
In other words, we have a clear responsibility to keep people from harming themselves. God is watching us. He won’t accept any excuses, and He will judge us for the times we did nothing. Telling ourselves we’re too busy, or don’t want to offend someone, or are afraid of saying the wrong thing won’t cut it. Jesus left the ninety-nine to rescue the one lost sheep. We should do likewise.
Q #3 - What sets the perspective and tone of Hope Always apart from other books about the subject of depression and suicide?
I can think of at least four ways Hope Always is different:
1 - God has planted me in the “saving lives” business, first as a secular physician and much later in life as a pastor. As a result, I speak three languages fluently: Medicalese, Atheism, and Biblish. This is a book that builds bridges rather than separates people.
2 - Most other books focus on why people commit suicide. Hope Always is about why they don’t. We can learn so much from people—both in ancient times and today—who reached the end of their rope, seriously contemplated ending it all, but ultimately leaned into God’s strength rather than their own and made it through to the other side.
3 - Other Christian books on suicide are written primarily for counselors. Hope Always is a wake up call for the Church in general. Suicide is as old as Adam and Eve, and Covid has only accelerated our depression and suicide crisis. By all accounts, these problems are not going away any time soon.
4 - Lastly, Hope Always isn’t so much about comforting those left behind, though I pray it does, but it’s about prevention. And it’s extremely practical. What can you do today to prevent the next suicide? None of us can do everything, but all of us can do something.
Q #4 - What have you learned about the nature of God thru’ studying the complex issue of suicide and how it affects the church?
Probably the most important thing is that God is always for life, never for death. Ecclesiastes 3:11 says that God put eternity in our hearts. Satan is the one who says don’t even try to make it through the day.
Our Father never, ever, ever wants us to choose death. Jesus died on the Cross so that we would have life, and have it more abundantly. It is in the nature of God that we share that message, and it is in Satan’s nature that we hide it.
Q #5 - For many of us, fear of accidentally making things worse can hold us back from initiating conversations about depression and suicide with those who are hurting. What advice would you offer to us readers and those in the ministry to start conversations about suicide?
Start by reading Hope Always. No one wants to talk about things they aren’t knowledgeable about. You’ll feel much better equipped to initiate a difficult but necessary conversation.
I don’t pretend to have all the answers, and you don’t need to have all the answers either. But we all have an obligation to help a loved one who is in danger.
Second, not everyone has a degree in medicine or psychology, but it’s been my experience that everyone has a PhD in discerning attitude. If you lead with love, people will know it. Being prepared means you love even more, not less.
Q # 6 - What primary lesson or message do you hope will resonate most with your readers after they’ve finished your book?
God has made us a nation of priests. If you prepare yourself ahead of time and lead with love, you are absolutely equipped to talk with people who are depressed or suicidal.
It’s not only an obligation to do so; it’s a sacred privilege.
There is no activity that I’ve been involved in as wonderful as saving lives. You don’t have to be an ER doc to do that. We are all empowered to go and share the Good News that leads to eternal life. We are all responsible for sharing the message of Hope.
Q #7 - On a lighter note (!!!), I’m curious as to why some children’s books are on your list of book recommendations in the Hope Always Tool Kit? (By the way, I LOVE that you did this!)
First, the best children’s books are enjoyable and edifying to both the adults who are reading them and the kids who are listening.
Second, today’s culture is sending countless messages that life is an accident with no ultimate meaning. We need to start telling our children at a very young age that their life is an intentional act of creation filled to the brim with meaning and purpose. Starting when kids are teenagers or adolescents is way too late. Reading books that reinforce these messages is life-giving at any age.
On a related side note, I’ve heard so many parents say, “I don’t care what my kids do, as long as they are happy.” This is nonsense. What we should be aiming for is joy, not happiness. (Galatians 5:22-23. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. ESV)
Joy is a positive emotion from God that warms the heart, while happiness is smoke that blows away in any wind. Joy will sustain our children when they come face to face with the inescapable hard times of life. All the books on this list share a message of lasting joy!
Thank you, Matthew for your time and for this book!
Now you know how I like to close: “Run, don’t walk to your nearest bookstore and grab this book ASAP! Be thinking of your friends you can give it to also.”
While it’s a tough education, it’s of monumental importance right now.
Buying a book and giving it to your church, the guidance counselor at your local school, or a loved one who is hurting is something you can do to PREVENT the next suicide TODAY!
There’s not a minute to waste...
‘Til next time!
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